Is the Nobel Prize a Lollipop?

When an out-of-control li'l kiddo needs work on his chompers, it's often customary to bribe him with a treat, say a lollipop. That's assuming he's a good boy, and refrains from biting the dental hygienist. In other words, just by behaving, he'll be rewarded.

In the wake of the peace summit between North and South Korea, eighteen members of Congress --- all Republicans --- have actually penned a letter to the Nobel Committee, proposing that Donald J. Trump be given the Nobel Peace Prize. With an extra flourish, The Donald's Senatorial Main Squeeze, Lindsey Graham (R-SC), opined that there would be mass casualties if it happened, because "A lot of liberals would kill themselves if they actually did that!" Not me! I'd just vomit.

There's precious li'l doubt in my mind that Young Master Donald must have been an insufferable brat, constantly in need of attention. The No-Longer-So-Young Master Donald? Still a brat: The planet's most powerful brat, at that! 

So how exactly did No-Longer-So-Young Master Donald contribute to the pan-Korean thaw?  Let's be real. South Korean President Moon Jae-in did the real heavy lifting. He was elected, having promised his constituents that he would seek rapprochement with their immediate neighbors and fellow ethnics. He kept that promise.

On the other hand, until recently, The Most Powerful Brat on the Planet, had been relentlessly engaged in a prolonged pissing match --- a potentially lethal one --- with Kim Jong-un, whom he called "Little Rocket Man." For example, The Donald would bluster, "My penis --- oop, I mean 'nuclear button' is bigger than yours." "Military solutions are now in place, fully locked and loaded, should North Korea act unwisely." And not to be forgotten, he once threatened to unleash "--- fire, fury, and frankly power, the likes of which the world has never seen before."

Now that the two Korean leaders have jointly broken bread, Our Wayward Head-of-State somehow got the message that he needs to make nice with Little Rocket Man. Done!  Now that he's being a good boy, a Nobel Peace Prize may actually be in his future. If so, that's quite a lollipop! 

Come to think of it, suckers have defined much of his life. They still show up at his campaign rallies.

NOTE: This post was conceived before Trump's dreadful decision to scuttle the nuclear agreement with Iran.  Somehow, I doubt that he'd be warmly received in Oslo anymore, Nobel or no Nobel.

Dick & Jane Redux, a.k.a., These Are The Good Old Days (With Due Respect to Carly Simon)

Back in ye olden days, from the 1930s throughout much of the '70s, many schools attempted to teach primary-grade students to read by force-feeding them Dick and Jane primers.  These precious li'l picture books were standard fare in the Chicago Public Schools during the early '50s when I was still a wee kiddo. And gawd, were they ever booooorrrring!

They featured a boy named Dick and a girl called Jane as well as their baby sister Sally, Spot the Dog, Puff the Cat, and a pair of soulless parental units, known as "Mother" and "Father," for some strange, unfathomable reason. "Father," of course, smoked a pipe, which meant that he always knew best!  

Prior to 1965, the entire Dick and Jane cast of human characters wore the same baby-powder-colored skin tone. Only then, did the publishers, Scott-Foresman & Company (based here in Chicagoland), make the long-overdue decision to create versions of this iconic, but deadly dull, family in darker hues. However, their names stayed the same. Jane remained Jane, and Dick was, well, still a Dick --- for keeps!  And the primers themselves still sucked.

Here's an example of the inspiring wordplay our impressionable young minds were expected to absorb:  See Dick run!  Run, run, run!  See Jane skip! Skip, skip, skip!  Anyhoo, you get the idea.

All that running and skipping was enough to make my head explode. And they were, oh, soooo free of care --- Dick and Jane and Baby Sally and Spot and Puff --- in their leafy suburban paradise. (No worries over sweet, sweet, li'l Puff ever getting squished by a big, bad ol' semi!) A real treat to read for all of us snot-nosed city kids, in our own pavement-colored heaven!

Now those were the good ol' days, back when America was great! The Orange Caudillo obviously pines for those days. Maybe that's the real reason he anointed Betsy DeVos as   ---uh--- Education Secretary. After all, with Sweet Betsy at the helm, everything's gonna be hunky-dory, like it's 1951 again. She might even bring back Dick and Jane!