Back in ye olden days, from the 1930s throughout much of the '70s, many schools attempted to teach primary-grade students to read by force-feeding them Dick and Jane primers. These precious li'l picture books were standard fare in the Chicago Public Schools during the early '50s when I was still a wee kiddo. And gawd, were they ever booooorrrring!
They featured a boy named Dick and a girl called Jane as well as their baby sister Sally, Spot the Dog, Puff the Cat, and a pair of soulless parental units, known as "Mother" and "Father," for some strange, unfathomable reason. "Father," of course, smoked a pipe, which meant that he always knew best!
Prior to 1965, the entire Dick and Jane cast of human characters wore the same baby-powder-colored skin tone. Only then, did the publishers, Scott-Foresman & Company (based here in Chicagoland), make the long-overdue decision to create versions of this iconic, but deadly dull, family in darker hues. However, their names stayed the same. Jane remained Jane, and Dick was, well, still a Dick --- for keeps! And the primers themselves still sucked.
Here's an example of the inspiring wordplay our impressionable young minds were expected to absorb: See Dick run! Run, run, run! See Jane skip! Skip, skip, skip! Anyhoo, you get the idea.
All that running and skipping was enough to make my head explode. And they were, oh, soooo free of care --- Dick and Jane and Baby Sally and Spot and Puff --- in their leafy suburban paradise. (No worries over sweet, sweet, li'l Puff ever getting squished by a big, bad ol' semi!) A real treat to read for all of us snot-nosed city kids, in our own pavement-colored heaven!
Now those were the good ol' days, back when America was great! The Orange Caudillo obviously pines for those days. Maybe that's the real reason he anointed Betsy DeVos as ---uh--- Education Secretary. After all, with Sweet Betsy at the helm, everything's gonna be hunky-dory, like it's 1951 again. She might even bring back Dick and Jane!
